Adult Problem Children

What to do about Adult Problem Children

            Today was a very tough day. I took my youngest son to his court date. He’s been going to hearings for six weeks now. They keep putting off a disposition on revoking his probation. My son didn’t follow through on all aspects of his probation. I do think he needed a wakeup call, but I’m still in shock about the judge’s decision. My son will be in the county jail for six months, probably in tent city. Our famous “toughest sheriff in America” Arpaio has a permanent county jail that is really tents. Two meals a day are provided, one of which is ostrich meat. At least he’ll have to stop using cigarettes as the ban on smoking is enforced by the gang leaders.

            It was hard to take it in. I immediately went into “project” mode so I wouldn’t have to feel anything. I called my friends and my other two sons for help with clearing out my youngest son’s apartment before I left for California tomorrow morning. I quickly cleared space in my garage to store his stuff.  I called the apartment management and found out it was too expensive to break the lease. It will be cheaper to pay the rent for the remaining three months of the lease. So I don’t need to clear it out tonight. I called everyone back and cancelled the project. Still in project mode, I called and cancelled his utilities.

Now I’m starting to feel, and it’s lousy. My stomach is bouncing and my anxiety is high. I know that he will have to join a gang in jail, the white one. I hope they don’t figure out he’s Jewish. Will he use his time to take the drug course and make some use of the experience? I hope so.

            In spite of what happened today, I still think of myself as the lucky one. My son has been sober from his heroin habit for sixteen months. I have friends whose adult children have severe mental illnesses. They will have a lifelong situation to deal with. One friend has a son who goes in and out of institutions. When he’s out, he stops taking his meds, which makes him dangerous. I have other friends whose adult children are still addicted to alcohol or drugs. The lucky friends are those with merely unemployed or divorcing children. I’m feeling cynical. It must be time to remember that I have two older sons who are doing well. They have happy marriages and the oldest is a great dad. Count your blessings.

2 Responses to “Adult Problem Children”

  1. veronica Says:

    Keep focusing on the positive….you know where Max will be for 6 months…no missed probation appts., no smoking, an oportunity to take drug counseling (if he’ll take advantage of it).

    Perhaps this will be the “bottom” that he’ll hit that will make Max wake up and get his life in order.

    Be good to yourself….your friends are here for you.

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