Single Surgery

Single Surgery

     I had surgery on Tuesday. All day out patient. My son took me there but left before I went back into pre-op. He’s freaked out by hospitals since his brush with death and eight week stay in one in 2008. They kept me longer than I predicted so I had a friend pick me up. I really didn’t think about the fact that I was alone until the next day. I know I’m a strong woman, but I didn’t miss having someone at the hospital because I was doing fine and just wanted to rest and sleep. It seems to me that when you’re young, your parents take you to surgery. When you’re married, your spouse does. (Or doesn’t and friends do, more about this below.) And when you’re older, your children do the honors.

     The first surgery I had was when I was married the first time. My husband, a lawyer, was too busy to take me, so a friend did. So much for the idea that if you’re married, your spouse will be there for your for health problems.

     I had major surgery when I was a single of mom with daughters aged one and seven. My friends took me and stayed with me at the hospital while my mother, from New Jersey, took care of the kids. When I broke my elbow on a Saturday night a few months later, I called a babysitter. She stayed with the kids while her parents dropped me at the emergency room. It was close enough so I walked home.

     My second husband did take me to surgeries, but did not hang around at home afterwards. He wasn’t fond of infirmities. I had my mother or friends look after me.

     A friend called me last night and said she sprained her ankle. When she described it, I suggested she might have broken it and she should go to the Emergency Room. I was up in Munds Park and couldn’t offer to take her. This morning she called on her way to the hospital. She was driving herself and it was painful to use her clutch. I was aghast that she didn’t ask her sister or a friend to take her. Her husband lives in Hawaii, so he wasn’t available.

     Now that I’m single again, it’s either the kids or friends who are there for me in times of medical need. Both sets are very reliable. So when people ask me if I’m afraid to grow old without someone to take care of me, I smile. My experience is that kids and friends are better caretakers.

     By the way, I’m recovering well.

One Response to “Single Surgery”

  1. Walt Says:


    Hope everything went well with the surgery !!! Is it going to slow your golf game down?

    Walt H.

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