Diving Back into Dating Again
I’m back in Scottsdale and ready to dive back into dating. I changed my zip code from Munds Park to Scottsdale on the Internet dating site I use and waited to see who would email. I don’t know why I’m taking such a passive approach. I’m usually more assertive and look at my matches. And why not do some searching on my own? Maybe next week.
I had three dates in a week. I have ambivalent feelings about dinner for a first meeting. You can be trapped for hours with a bore or worse. And yet it’s enough time to figure out you don’t want to go out again.
I arranged to meet Mr. De-Bunker Fake Intellectual at a soup and salad restaurant. He started the conversation with “Have you read any book by Jeffrey Deever?” I am a former librarian with a penchant for murder mysteries, so I said “yes.” He proceeded to give me a précis of a book, definitely NOT written by Jeffrey Deaver, about how the Old Testament is a myth and the Jews have no right to Israel. Didn’t he read my profile? I clearly state I’m Jewish. Though not a Zionist or a big believer, this volley took me off guard. I didn’t debate with him. He was sure he had all the answers. When I tried to get the conversation on a personal level, he launched his long academic career (a BA in geology and then another in performing arts) and went on to catalog his job experience. He asked me no questions. I finally got to leave after a very long two hours, not hugging or touching him as he walked me to my car, and definitely not saying, “I look forward to hearing from you.”
A few days later I met Mr. Baseball at a bookshop café. We were both early but recognized each other. Unbelievably, we both looked exactly liked our pictures posted with our profiles. We talked for an hour and I found out he was a nice guy. But we had little in common and he lived twelve-step to the max. I’m iffy on God, so that wasn’t going to work. He emailed me a few hours later, saying we didn’t match and I emailed him back, agreeing and wishing him well. It was definitely worth my time to meet him and add another character to my stock for novels.
I met Mr. Left Wing Rush Limbaugh at a sports bar since it was the night of game 7 of the World Series. Baseball is not my thing, basketball is, but even I can manage enthusiasm for Game 7 and he was willing to drive from East Mesa to a place near my house. He laid it on thick right away. I was gorgeous, etc. When I called him on it, he put his hand on my chin and turned me to face his eyes. He said, “I won’t lie to you.” Oh great, a guy who either doesn’t recognize over-the-top flattery or bald-faced lies about it. He asked about my writing and we discussed it briefly. He wanted to talk about the book he was writing, a diatribe on how the conservatives have ruined America. I am an old lefty too, but he was raging. He suggested a tactic if the Republicans privatize social security. He asked where we could get food, clothing, shelter, and protection for free. Jail, of course, was his answer. All seniors should demonstrate and get arrested by Sheriff Joe Arpaio (he had an entire “Ode to Joe” that was pornographic.) Since my son has been in jail, I had some knowledge about the county jails and tried to break his bubble that they would provide adequate food, clothing, shelter, or protection. He said we could file a lawsuit a day and shut down the courts.
He laced much of his conversation with four letter words, inappropriate as far as I’m concerned on a first date.
I asked whether he had participated in Occupy Phoenix. He said that he and his brother considered it but there was a Penn State football game scheduled at the same time. What a hypocrite!
His manner was angry. He criticized the wait staff but in truth, we were here for the game so what did slow service matter? When the waitress brought the check at the eighth inning, I saw my opportunity to leave. I told him that we were not a match, that I was a patient and tolerant person and he was a more agitated one. I didn’t say angry, although that’s what I thought. He asked to walk me to my car, but I declined and left before he had paid the tab so he wouldn’t follow me. I could see he wanted to cop a kiss and a feel. No way! I imagine he would be an interesting person to meet at a party, but not someone I would date. Think Louis Black but not as funny, bright, or right.
So am I going up already? No. I’m meeting a new guy at a Starbuck’s on Tuesday. No more dinners!