Getting older isn’t a battle, it’s a massacre!


Getting older isn’t a battle, it’s a massacre!

This is my adaptation of a quote from the Philip Roth novel Everyman. This past week one friend had a stroke, I rushed my friend and neighbor to the ER with blood clots in her lungs, I treated my dog for exploding warts, and my son’s girlfriend bailed him out of jail after I asked her not to.

The good news is that everyone is going to be all right. The friend with the stroke is in rehab for limited movement of one hand and foot, but otherwise, she’s fine.

My neighbor’s recovery is nothing short of a miracle. The doctors couldn’t believe she survived the blood clot that went through her heart into both of her lungs, and the ones waiting to break free from her leg. Her recuperation will require patience and persistence, but she’ll also be fine again. She got out of the hospital yesterday. Her son made me promise to sleep overnight. She wanted to me to go home so she could have time alone, which I certainly understood. But I waited until she was sleeping, and then I crept into her guest room and slept. I didn’t fool her at all. She got up several times to give herself breathing treatments. I never heard a thing! Good thing I’m not a nocturnal caregiver.

My son was arrested for probation violation. I met his girlfriend at the hearing. We talked about how he needed to grow up and take responsibility. Since he had nowhere to live, it was just as well he do his time. She was saving fort an apartment with him when he got out. My son told me he was going to reject probation and serve the last two months of his sentence. Instead, the public defender got a continuance and got him bail.

Long story short, she paid his bail. He wanted to take a shower at my house and live here until his hearing. I had told him that I was no longer going to enable him. He was mighty mad. The girlfriend paid for a motel room for two nights. They thought I would break down and let him stay here. It really felt bad to say “no” but I know it was the right thing to do. Otherwise in ten years I’ll have a thirty-three year old son living with me. I was so upset that I didn’t want to eat anything, not even dark chocolate!

But in the midst of this chaos I got the inspiration for my next book and started it. It’s a memoir that will include a scathing condemnation of the Maricopa County Criminal Justice System. I’ll let you know when it’s published.

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