Aging Isn’t for Sissies
Two friends from Munds Park live in my condo complex in Scottsdale. Last week we were all afflicted with senior ailments that would definitely curtail romance, at least in the short run. After Dee read my new novel about dementia, she was frantic that she was in the beginning stages. She lost three sets of car keys and had to have her car towed to the dealership to have a new key made. Her doctor suggested a sleep study. When she went to the specialist for the results, he said she stopped breathing a hundred times in three hours and her oxygen level got very low. She absolutely needed a c-pack. She hates having a mask over her face at night and often wakes up with it off in the morning. Presumably she tore it off during the night. But her memory has returned, and for that she is grateful. I guess it was sleep deprivation that mimicked dementia.
Joan needed cataract operations on both of her eyes, one at a time. She was nervous about it because she had two friends who had catastrophic complications. I assured her that both of my cataract operations went well. Dee, a former nurse, was the designated driver for the surgeries and I drove Joan to her next day follow-up appointments. She looked like an understudy for The Phantom of the Opera in the perforated metal patch over her eye.
I had to have vascular leg surgery, but not the cosmetic kind. There was “backwash” in the veins in my legs so I had vascular laser ablation in the doctor’s office. The doctor used a sonogram to find the errant veins, positioned the optic fibers, stuck local anesthetic in the veins (that hurt!) and zapped them with a laser (that didn’t hurt.) After the surgery the nurse wrapped my leg with three six inch wide ace bandages and told me to elevate my leg. (See the accompanying photo.) I had to keep it like that for forty-eight hours. Then I could take a shower and wrap my leg mummy-style during the day for two weeks.
At first I wasn’t skilled at the wrapping. The first day I wrapped it by myself I went shopping at Nordstrom’s for some support hose. Another customer tapped me on the shoulder and pointed down, saying she was concerned I would trip. I was so embarrassed to be trailing a flopping ace bandage that was partially unrolled from the middle of my leg! I was shopping for support hose as I refused to wear slip on shoes and a mummy leg to the Teddy Bear Tea at the Ritz Carlton on Saturday. Do you know how hard it is to find support hose now that most women don’t wear stockings? I had to pay twenty -eight dollars because Spanx was the only brand available and I hadn’t thought ahead to research on the Internet. I do have to admit that my dress fit better due to the Spanx. Of course I got a huge run in the support hose. Think I’ll stop at Penney’s before I get the other leg done this week.
So Dee looks like an alien in bed, I have a mummy leg and Joan had a metal pirate patch. Are our nights of romance over?
Check out Annie’s website at www.annieweissman.com. Her novel, Reinvented Lives, is available at the Pinewood Farmers’ Market and on Amazon.com.
