The Humor of Older Women


I’m in training in LA this week. Over two hundred of us are housed at a hotel near the airport. Was that to minimize the distractions? The conference rooms, to which we are confined from 8:30 to 5:30 daily, are kept at arctic temperatures to keep us awake. Even though it is almost eighty degrees outside, I wear turtle necks, jackets, and scarves.

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We are “let out” of the training room for lunch, but that is in another room on the same floor. So far we have been served chicken at every meal. When I ordered wings for dinner at a restaurant tonight, my team leader said I’d eaten so much chicken I was going to start clucking or laying eggs.

There are two fifteen minute breaks, mid-morning and mid-afternoon, but only water is provided. Of course I go to the lobby for a Starbucks iced tea or to the hotel sundries store for a diet soda.

Although there are some men in the program, there are only women in my group, ranging from late forties to eighty years old. The women hail from Arizona, Utah, Minnesota, Nebraska and Wisconsin.

We started training on Monday and finish on Saturday. At ten o’clock the first day one of the elder stateswomen sighed, “Is it Saturday yet?”

Later that day, one of us sturdier-built women was asked to go “center stage.” This meant to take a seat at the demo table and practice in front of everyone and get critiqued. She started walking between the table and the podium but the space was too small so she had to go through a bigger easement. “I’m over-optimistic!” she quipped.

A little later the lead trainer asked one of the women, “Would you please read the first screen?”

“No,” replied the woman with aplomb.

This made the rest of us sit up and laugh.

One of the assessment questions was quite difficult for third graders. One woman reported that when she asked such a question of a student last year, he looked at her and said, “You asking me that?”

Fun times at Momma D's

Fun times at Momma D’s

Last night six of us took the trolley to Manhattan Beach and ate at Momma D’s, which was tasty Italian food. One of us forgot to use the rest room before leaving the restaurant. She suffered on the thirty minute ride back to the hotel. When she got off the trolley she said, “I wish I was a dog so I could pee on that pole over there.”

When I saw her this morning she said. “Can I tell you how good it felt last night when I went to the bathroom? The last time I felt that good was after I gave birth.”

There are more than a few of us who have some hearing loss. As I was walking to the room today, I overheard this conversation:

“Are you talking about …” one woman said.

“You’re twerking?” the other asked.

I’ll write more another night.

 

 

 

 

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