Another Two Dates


I haven’t dated this past summer but now that I’m back in Scottsdale I decided to give it a try. After quite a bit of weeding out, I found two likely candidates on the dating site Our Time, one for people 50 and over. I weeded out all the ones who answered “conservative” to “political views” and ones under 5’7’’ (my hang-up, not theirs.)

The first fellow, Mike, called me and I should have been astute and never met him. He asked me about my figure type:  apple, pear or hourglass. Then he asked me my dress size!!! He volunteered that he was six feet three inches tall and two hundred fifty pounds and added that he could lose twenty pounds. I certainly wasn’t going to tell him my weight so I replied, “we could all probably afford to lose twenty pounds.” We agreed to meet at an Einstein’s. He works in sales, so his time is flexible but he said his appointments change all the time. We agreed on noon.

He texted me the next morning and asked to meet at 11:30. Then he changed it to noon. He asked me what color shirt I would be wearing. I texted him back “black” but wondered why he asked since I look just like my photo on the web site. (It was taken in June.) He texted he’d be wearing a white shirt. Then he called at 8:45 and asked to meet at ten a.m. He texted that he was excited to meet me and texted back “ditto” I hopped in the shower since I’d just come back from the gym.

I got to the Einstein’s ten minutes early, bought myself an iced tea and started to read. He showed up on time but looked little like his picture. He was closer to three hundred pounds than two fifty, but I like my men big so that was fine.

He got a bagel and cream cheese and sat down with me. “You look much better than your picture.”

I smiled.

“You didn’t reply to my last text,” he said.

“I didn’t see it,” I replied.

“Look at it and give me an answer.”

I looked at the text. It said, “Can’t wait to hug and cuddle with you!!!”

“So what do you say?” he insisted.

“It’s a bit premature.”

“Wrong answer,” he said.

Strike one, I thought. We then had a short discussion about that and I did agree that I didn’t have a timetable for intimacy but wouldn’t promise anything in advance.

We started to talk about our lives. He had been married once and was divorced twenty-five years ago. No kids. I told him I had three sons and started to talk about them.

“Why are we discussing your children?” he asked.

Strike two, I thought.

We got around to sports. I confessed that I didn’t like football. That didn’t seem to matter to him. He said he loved baseball and was excited the Cubs were in the playoffs. I said I’d been to some baseball games. I told him that my favorite sport to watch was basketball. He told me that was his least favorite.

He asked, “College or Pro?”

“I like both,” I said. “I had season tickets to the Suns for twenty years and to the Mercury for ten years.”

“Why would anyone want to watch women’s basketball?” he asked.

“They don’t dunk much so they play more as a team.”

“Why would you go see a team that’s all gay but two of them?”

Uh-oh. “Do you have something against gay people?”

“Not them, just their behavior.”

“I don’t think sexual preference is a choice. I think it’s innate,” I said.

“God wouldn’t have made anyone like that,” he asserted.

Strike three. I gave him a look.

He said, “That’s it?”

“That’s it,” I said and took my tea and walked out.

A few days later I arranged to meet a fellow at a Paradise Bakery. We didn’t speak on the phone first. I arrived early, got a diet Coke and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and waited. He arrived late, saying he had trouble finding the place among the other shops.

He looked better than his photo on the dating site. We spent an hour and a half talking about politics. He’s a Democrat so there weren’t arguments. It was like being with a comedian. His take on politics and current events kept us laughing. He is into Ballroom Dancing and I said I was willing to learn. He asked me out for two different nights but I was busy. I hope he’ll ask me out when I’m available.

Two different dates, very different vibes.

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