Archive for March, 2017

Mistake at the Movies

March 23, 2017

Recently, I went with Mr. Hot Stuff to a matinee to see Rogue One, a Star Wars Story. It was playing at Shea 14, an older theater not too far from my home in Scottsdale. I’m not a huge sci-fi fan, but I do love Star Wars.

Friends always give me the Harkins shirt and loyalty cup for Hanukkah, so I can get a free popcorn and $1.50 soda refill each time I attend a Harkins movie theater. I upgraded to a large popcorn for a dollar so I could share with Mr. Hot Stuff and bought him a loyalty cup filled with soda. (He had paid for the tickets.)

It was already dark in the theater when we chose our seats. He sat on the aisle to accommodate his long legs. (He’s fix feet six inches tall.)

Of course, about three quarters the way through the movie, I had to go to the bathroom. I quickly exited, visited the ladies’ room and raced back to my seat. I didn’t want to miss the action.

After the movie, as the credits were rolling, I said, “Since this is a prequel, we know how it ends.”

“Yes, no mystery there,” came the answer from an unfamiliar voice.

I looked to my left to see a nearly bald man, Mr. Hot Stuff’s follicle situation, but I was definitely not sitting next to the person with whom I’d arrived. I blanched and looked around. There sat Mr. Hot Stuff across the aisle and a row behind me.

I went hysterical laughing. I got up and sat down next to Mr. Hot Stuff. We both laughed so hard we couldn’t speak.

The man I’d sat next to left his seat and stopped to speak to us. “Just don’t tell my wife.”

This cracked all of us up.

I was nearly gaining my composure when the people across the aisle stood and said, “We got it all on video on our phone.”

This set off more deep belly laughs.

As we exited the theater, Mr. Hot Stuff said between chortles, “I was worried. I thought either you hated the movie or I’d come out to find ambulances.”

That evening, every time one of us mentioned the incident, we burst into gales of laughter.

All that laughing di me a world of psychological good.

 

It Must be Spring Because I’m Cleaning the Garage

March 14, 2017

Puppets in box           I don’t do Spring Cleaning because I’m allergic to cleaning supplies. Lucky me! I have a housekeeper who sparkles my place But, every spring I get the urge to get rid of stuff in the garage. Like rabbits, that stuff multiplies while I’m not looking.

This winter I had a job that required me to store boxes of materials in my garage. And I had many items from my kitchen (the sink, dishwasher, drawers) warehoused there as the restoration from a garbage disposal leak was being done. All that extra stuff was driving me crazy. I could barely get my car in the two-car garage.

My job ended on Friday and I got to send all the boxes back. The kitchen is restored so the drawers are back in place. I had to get rid of the old sink and reverse osmosis system. And I still haven’t been able to unload the antique doors I took off the living room cupboard. I tried selling them on a neighborhood Facebook site, but no takers. I finally decided to store the doors, put the sink in the recyled garbage, and throw the reverse osmosis system in the large dumpster the condo complex had put on site over the weekend. The dumpster was part of the impetus to get going on the project.

This year I decided to make a concerted effort to jettison everything I haven’t used in two years. Easier said than done. Having been a librarian, I’m used to “weeding” a book collection. I was ruthless. I’m not going to be doing any more workshops or teaching school again (even though I renewed my teaching and principal certificates for another eight years) so I let go of most of my storytelling philosophy books, teaching materials, books about writing I haven’t read, and children’s books. The latter I gave to grandchildren. I gave away at least five hundred books. I did have “giver’s remorse” over a few items, but in the main it feels great. I now have several bookcases with no books so I’m going to The Container Store and repurposing the shelves.

I found the rest of my teapot collection and put it in the house.

I still couldn’t get rid of the memorabilia from my daughters even though I never look at it.

I went through the piles of blank paper and meted it out to the grandkids. I got rid of my mother’s duck soup tureen that I’ve never used. I still couldn’t dump the photos that aren’t in albums and the Suns paraphernalia and photos. Maybe next year.

I divided the items up between my youngest son, who needs household stuff, and The White Dove, the resale store of Hospice of the Valley. I had to make two trips to each place.

I have a huge sack of papers that need to be shredded, and I’m only up to sorting tax year 2004. Last year I went to one of those free shred-a-thons but the line of cars was blocks long and I gave up. I’ll probably pay to have it done at a UPS or Staples store.

As I was going through old folders last night, I found a letter from an annuity company. I called this morning and I’ve got money I can surrender at a 50% discount or start taking as an annuity. Bonus!!

I found a box of puppets. I’ve always loved puppets and done shows with them starting when I was a little girl. I guess it’s time to pass them on to the grandkids.

Cleaning out the garage is like exercising. I make lots of excuses not to do it. I don’t like it while I’m doing it, but I do feel much better after it’s done.