The Single Senior Goes Shopping for a Swim Suit


 

I’m going on a two-week Caribbean cruise this month. I have quite a few swim suits if only I knew where they were. I put them away two years ago and haven’t seen them since.

I do have one bathing suit I bought last year, but it’s very difficult to wriggle into. It’s not tight, but it takes a contortionist to hook the bra strap and get the arms in the right place. I usually wear a tee shirt over my suit when I’m swimming so I won’t get sunburned. At least that’s what I tell myself.

In December, I saw an ad for some cute swim suits on Facebook, offered by a company called Liligal. I went to their website and ordered two. They arrived six weeks later! I’m used to Amazon orders arriving the next day. I tried them on and neither fit. Well, the bottom of the tankini fit well. There was no information in the packaging about returns. I noticed the return address was Shanghai.

I went to the website and finally figured out I had to start a “ticket.” I got a reply ten days later. The person who replied to the ticket apologized for tardiness but explained that everyone had the previous week off for Chinese New Year. She offered to refund half my money and I wouldn’t have to send back the merchandise.

I wrote back that I wanted all my money back. About a week later I received a reply, with the return instructions, and another offer. The company would refund me 80% of my money and I wouldn’t have to return anything. I noticed that the instructions did not include a prepaid label. I didn’t know how much it would be to ship the bathing suits to China, so I took the money offer. I kept the bottom of the tankini and gave the rest to friends.

I’ve been working full time for six weeks and didn’t have the time to go swim suit shopping. Or at least, that’s what I told myself. The cruise departure is less than two weeks away, so I swallowed my pride and went to find a swim suit that would cover my breasts. I wear bras to make them look smaller, but I haven’t ever found a swim suit that will do the same.

Yesterday I went to Lane Bryant, a store that caters to plus-size women. I found a black suit that fit, sort of. It still exposed too much on top, but I was desperate. I needed two suits, so I wouldn’t have to put on a wet suit if I did two days of snorkeling.

I went to Old Navy and found several swim suit cover-ups.

Today I went to Nordstrom’s. I’d seen a swim suit on the website that looked promising and was in my size. When I got to the store they had only one suit in my size. It looked okay, but the straps kept coming off. I wasn’t going to spend $130 on something that could unhook and result in a wardrobe malfunction of mammoth proportions.

I tried Macy’s. They had more merchandise in my size, but they all showed too much. They were even more expensive. And didn’t have underwires in the bras, so not only did my boobs show, but they also drooped to my waist.

I went home and ordered the suit from Nordstrom’s. The comments said to order a size larger than your usual size. We’ll see if it fits. I took pictures of how the suits looked, but if I posted them, my blog might be labeled “porn.”

 

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One Response to “The Single Senior Goes Shopping for a Swim Suit”

  1. Alexis Koch Says:

    What an ordeal!

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