Archive for January, 2020

Possibility Dashed

January 17, 2020

The New Possibility (NM) and I went out quite a bit the first few weeks. We went to dinner and I made him dinner. We watched the Ultimate Jeopardy Championship together. I suggested going to the Rhythm Room for music, but that wasn’t his thing. Okay, I could go with my friends.

My detective friend Marlene looked it up and found out he had not filed for divorce. Uh-oh. The first lie.

We had a date for a Friday night, but he canceled and wanted to go out Sunday night. I was concerned. Married guys are the ones who won’t go out on Friday and Saturday nights. He invited me to stay at his home on Sunday night, via a text. He also said he had downloaded my new book, Sex and the Single Senior and enjoyed the chapter about Mr. Scrabble.

Didn’t his wife live there? Wouldn’t it be awkward, to say the least? I thought it over and texted him about his wife being there. He answered that she would be in Las Vegas.

This caused more concerns. Was this guy separated from his wife and divorcing her? Or was I part of an arrangement they had that he could have affairs? I thought about it and texted back the next day that I was not comfortable with that. He texted back that he didn’t feel like socializing for the time being but that I was a very impressive person. What was the subtext of that remark?

I texted him the next day and thanked him for the compliment. I asked if he liked my book. He texted back that he didn’t. He emailed me this:

Why? Think of This-

Who would want to be in your company at the risk of ending up in a book?


That is true. I understand his concern. Writers like me use their personal experiences as fodder. I caught the anger in the email. I guess he expected a slam or a tell-all. So another possibility didn’t work out.



A New Possibility

January 13, 2020

A New Possibility

I’ve been passive in the Internet dating game, mostly waiting for guys to email me. If their profile says they are looking for a woman who is slim or athletic, I don’t consider those men possibilities as I am not slim or athletic.

I was matched with a fellow on the free OK Cupid site and agreed to meet him since he didn’t indicate a preference for slim women. He wanted to meet at a Fry’s deli, which I’d never had suggested before. When I got to the deli, quite close to my home, I was surprised that there was no soda machine, only coffee. When my date appeared, he was taken aback at the situation. He explained that the place had been remodeled since he’s last been there. Neither of us drank coffee.

So without beverages, we sat at a table and talked for more than an hour. He didn’t spill his guts about himself, which most men do on a first date. Instead, we spoke of current events. He didn’t have to ask me to explain any words I used, such a relief. I got good vibes from him and was happy that he wanted a second date.

He boosted my ego the next morning by texting that he was going to the library to check out one of my books to read. Here was a man who listened to what I said and valued my intelligence.

Our second date was at Panda Express. He wanted Chinese food because he’d read my travel blog on China. We again had a lively discussion which I thoroughly enjoyed.

He said he hadn’t been to a movie in ten years. I told him I go often. We agreed to see “Richard Jewell” the next day. He asked if he could pick me up at my house and I gave him my address.

When I mentioned this to a friend, she said I should Google him to make sure he wasn’t a felon. I did find out that he’d been the Deputy Chief of the Maricopa County Schools a while ago. I also saw his letters to the editors and op-ed pieces.

We both enjoyed the movie. I introduced him to my neighborhood restaurant, Randy’s. I worked up the courage to ask about what stage of divorce he was in. He looked a bit uncomfortable so I asked if he and his wife were still living in the same house. They were. Uh-oh.

I told him we could be friends, and do things together, but there was no possibility of a relationship as long as he was living with his wife. He understood but wasn’t pleased.

He texts me during the day as well as emailing me articles to read. I’m enjoying the attention. I do like him. I sure hope he changes his living situation. That would make him a definite candidate for a relationship.