Archive for March, 2020

Dating during a Pandemic

March 30, 2020

          I received an email from today that contained some interesting words. I don’t’ know if they coined the phrases but I love them, especially “Social Recession.” They also gave advice about “Dating While Distancing” which amounted to don’t agree to meet anyone in person. They suggested to meet for cocktails on Zoom.

I’ve seen a definite upturn in the number of messages I’ve gotten in the last week. I can certainly understand that. People have a lot of time on their hands. Before the pandemic, I wanted to meet the fellows right away, rather than email and talk over the phone. I felt it gave them too much time to put up a “front” that wouldn’t match them when we met. I’m rethinking that idea.

It would be possible to meet at a park, if there weren’t many people around, and take a walk six feet apart. That might be difficult for the hard of hearing, many of whom refuse to wear their hearing aids. Or we could sit on opposite ends of a park bench. We could maintain social distancing if we leaned in far enough to shake hands, if we both wore gloves. Sex seems out of the question as I can’t imagine a position that kept us six feet apart.

Two guys asked for my telephone number but they haven’t called. They’ve been texting me. I’m not sure why. I find talking on the telephone much more interesting, informative and personal.

One of the texters is P. He texted me good morning, gave me some information about himself, but seemed more interested in having someone to check in with.

The other texter, S., asked me about relationships, kids, etc., but to me it’s hard to share important information and feelings during a text conversation.

I have another guy who is messaging me through the OK Cupid site. He says contradictory things and sometimes has poor grammar, so I’m thinking he may have hacked a user’s profile.

And Mr. I’m Not Really Married keeps contacting me through email and the OKCupid website. I was quite definite when I told him I would not see him until he was divorced. He keeps saying he loves me. And he messaged that he wanted to move in with me, paying some expenses. I guess he didn’t listen when I told him I was not interested in a 24/7 relationship and not to contact me until he was divorced.

Before we warned to stay inside, I did meet a great guy for coffee/tea. Unfortunately he wasn’t into me.

So even through I’m communicating with some guys, I don’t hold out much hope of sustaining a text relationship until we can meet. I notice none of them suggested FaceTime or Zoom. I’d have to have advance notice since I’m not into makeup or “doing” my hair these days. My dogs don’t seem to care whether I dress up or not.

I was thinking about going up to Munds Park in the middle of April, but I read in The Arizona Daily Sun that the Flagstaff Medical Center had reached capacity a few days ago. I don’t need to put a further burden on the health care situation, so I guess I’ll stay in Scottsdale until the situation up there improves.

I am missing human contact. My dogs give me affection, but it’s not the same as a hug from a human being. FaceTiming my kids and grandkids is not as satisfying as seeing them in real life. But I’m doing my part to stay home and stay safe. I hope all of you are too, so we can get through this pandemic faster.



Mr. Valentine

March 2, 2020

           I used to like Valentine’s Day until my second husband chose that day to tell me he wanted a divorce. I try to ignore the day now.

I got a message on an internet dating site on Valentine’s Day. The fellow’s profile seemed okay so I agreed to meet him at The Sugar Bowl, my favorite ice cream place in downtown Scottsdale. I had a luscious hot fudge Sunday with chocolate chip ice cream while he had a sandwich since he hadn’t eaten dinner. We talked and laughed and seemed to get along. We went across the street to Grimaldi’s for some cocktails. We had to wait for a table and spent some time talking with some women in their early forties about dating. We did a lot of laughing. He was quite attentive and gave me mucho compliments.

At the table, we continued to banter and laugh. I had two Mai Tais and was felling good but not high or drunk. I had to take a seven a.m. flight on Monday to Hobbs, NM and he offered to stay overnight and drive me the next morning. I just laughed, knowing it was too soon for that kind of involvement.

He walked me to my car, about three blocks away from the restaurant. He kissed me, which I invited. Then he tried more and I pushed him away. I smiled, got into my car, and drove home. He looked surprised.

He texted me the next day, anxious to sleep over before my flight. However, I woke up with a cold and started taking Zicam tablets (they work!) so I wouldn’t get a full-blown cold. I texted him that I was sick and I didn’t want to do any socializing before I left since I was trying o head off the cold. He texted me back once, then not again.

He was a Player, a guy who roams Internet dating sites in order to score. In other words, a guy who flatters women until he gets them in bed and then drops them. If the woman is not willing or available in the next few days, he goes on to the next.

I felt good about the date. I had a fun time on Valentine’s Day and expected nothing else.

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