Archive for December, 2020

Long Distance Relationships

December 12, 2020

           About thirty years ago, I had a long distance relationship with a man from the San Francisco Bay area. We saw each other once a month, talked on the phone often and sent each other cards. It was perfect because I was a single working mother with two girls ages twelve and six. I was too busy and frazzled for a full time relationship. I don’t remember why we broke up, but there was no heartbreak on either side.

           I met my current beau,Steve last April in Munds Park, a small community sixteen miles south of Flagstaff. We lived a three minute car or golf cart ride from each other. I could bop over to his house, and he to mine, without any fuss. I took the proximity for granted.

           In Mid-October I moved back to downtown Scottsdale and he returned to Sun City. The distance between our places is thirty-three miles. It takes forty to seventy minutes to go from one house to the other, depending on traffic.

           No longer can I stop by. Visits have to be planned. One time when I stayed over at his place, I got a text at 2:30 a.m. that my dogs were barking. And another text to that effect at 3:30 a.m. I felt terrible.

My dogs are self-sufficient. They are “free feed,” which means they don’t have any specific mealtime. The dry food is out all the time, next to their water. They also have a doggie door so I don’t need to walk them, except for exercise. Now I would have to find someone to stay with them if I wanted to be gone overnight.

My friend Elissa agreed to take care of the dogs on Halloween. I went over to Steve’s dressed as a witch because I didn’t find out we were going to dress up until a few days before. Steve went to Goodwill and found a Toy Soldier/ Nutcracker outfit for less than seven dollars.

We drove his Ferrari to his grandson’s house to see the great grandchildren’s costumes but left before too many people arrived because of Covd-19. Then we went to The Chicken Ranch, but our favorite singer, Tim Hope, wasn’t playing. The fill-in group didn’t sound as good, so we left after a short time.

Last night we were at my house and went out to see Christmas light displays.

So far, the distance isn’t obstructing the relationship. We see each other three to four days a week. I miss him when he’s not around, but it also makes me appreciate the wonderful person he is. We don’t take each other for granted. It’s working so far.