Home Alone Sick

Home Alone Sick

December 19, 2009

            This is not a plea for sympathy or pity.

            I had a date with a new guy on Friday night. We talked about national and Arizona politics, health care reform, our families, work,etc. He’s a Liberal Democrat in a state awash with conservative Republicans. And we have chemistry! At the end of a lovely evening we kissed. This is being revealed only because of the peril to which this exposed him.

            I went home light at heart. Although I tell myself each time I meet a nice guy with whom I have chemistry, “ take it easy,” I always think too much about a future of dancing, movies, kissing, reading the paper together, etc.

            About 11:45 I woke up feeling sick. The eruptions started and lasted five hours. There is no need to chronicle these but to say I took at least four showers and cleaned my tile floors several times. I even had to give the dog a bath the next morning. These are the times when I’m glad I’m single. How humiliating to spew all over someone else! How ignominious to have no control over bodily functions!

            I remember one time when my first husband and I were twenty-one and engaged. We were having a pajama party with a few other people in an apartment in the Hamptons where, for some reason, the walls didn’t go all the way to the ceiling. He drank too much and threw up violently in the bathroom. He was the loudest vomiter I have ever heard. (And I still married him!) We were concerned for his health, but he assured us he was fine. After that, our reaction, insensitive as it was, was to laugh hysterically every time he hurled. People up and down the building came to our door to inquire if someone was dying. So, better to have a stomach bug in glorious seclusion. I slept on and off for twenty-four hours after the last eruption and was ready for a workout the next morning.

I felt duty bound to text him about what he might have contracted. So far he’s still communicating with me and we have a date for Tuesday night. We’ll see if he changes his mind if he gets the stomach bug I had.

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